How To Begin

because I'd rather bend google toward answering
the difference between falling in love and loving
than
the difference between puppets running for office
although I know equally little about both
and less and less each day
because I'd rather fail with watercolor
than succeed with 10-key and shorthand
I am only the secretary to the wonder of the now
not made to bend with polite questioning
ready to storm the castle or tourist the moat
at the first offered hand
because you end up in every pinnacle of my thoughts
and remain long after I have laid them all out
stitched single-file and alphabetical
because they said I should never say I and or because
because neuroscientists and shamans frown alike
brain-cells and spirits are prone to disintegrate
each time I tip my mug
because sometimes I just want to be fucked raw
match the external to the internal scream
quiet the indoor voices to match the outer orbits
which take so many headphones to hear
because I'm not done yet
but I'm still not sure how to begin.