Evolution

waking up from my backseat nap
angel-hair skewed and sweaty
dad driving, mom looking at the country
or at nothing
where are we going?
they don't respond or even look my way
rubbing my eyes, I try again
my sister looks at me with pouty irritation
where are we going?
she pretends she knows,
I know she doesn't
we pass other drivers on the road
some have my expression
most just keep driving
or looking at the country
or at the person next to them
or at nothing

Ladies' Night

For the time I invited you to ladies' night
even though I knew you were transitioning
I assumed you were genderqueer
I thought you still considered yourself a lesbian-
I know I'm part of the reason you left
you know why I still never call


For the time you told me you just wanted to end the pain
I didn't know that meant
you couldn't be a woman anymore
I wasn't sure which parts you were leaving
I thought we were still the same
see, I figured you just want to be invited


I'm sorry I called it ladies' night
I promise it had more to do with the gender of the alcohol
than what was between any of our legs
or in any of our hearts
I'm glad you are happy there
I'm so glad you're not in this dark place anymore
I know I'm part of the reason you left
you know why I still never call


I promise it has more to do with an apology I can't say
than with one I think you are still waiting to hear.

We Are The Bells

the artist inspires the artist inspires the artist inspires
the first painting we all saw
was sunrise, dipped honey long & slow
we wanted to ride that
to tame that to our spine and go hard
the first song we heard
was rainfall, baby fat sloppy & quick
then came the lightening
then came the thunder
and oh man, we were done with
we were so in love with
the bowl above us
holding us
vacant
kaleidoscoping, vibrating, swinging low
and oh man,
the best lovestory we've ever tasted
was between the sheets
of earth and sky

Do We?

Do We?

hope isn't in the facts on these pages

it's in the smile on the faces of these sages

the preschooler who doesn't know who is in his family

eviction notices on his doorstep since the day he was born

love can't live here anymore

barely a teenager she had her uncle's son

her mama looked on

as they took her grandson away

she asked-

why do you want to keep your baby, baby?

everything will leave you anyway.

hope isn't in the facts on these pages

it's in the smile on the faces of these sages

they called him The Fighter

scars lined his young face: wrinkles for skin too lived in

anyone who really looked could see-

he was only trying to be.

they called him The Fighter, but his grin was wide

at the sight of the first cake bought just for him

they called him The Fighter

I think they were right.

hope isn't in the facts on these pages

it's in the smile on the faces of these sages

these refugees are everywhere

holding a new foster mom's hand

a grasping asking- will this one be nice?

will this one be home?

the hunger doesn't go

we have all wondered if we would be missed

families cracked, broken, scattered

leaving us alone on special days

wondering where we belong

wondering if we mattered

do we?

Say This or That From Night to Day

the hardest apology to accept
is the one that you will never get
the easiest thing might be
to give a reflexed apology
and yet it does seem
it is the hardest thing to mean.


say this or that from night to day
it is what you do, not what you say
that will convince me
you believe your apology.

Durango

Small migrants stretching their feet far

Father is driftwood 

drowning down a diluted flag

He cannot hold them safe

What would you do?

They skinned his childhood

Put a gun in his hand

Kill or die, kid

And he did

They tell me

There are no victims here

All I see are tombstones 

ticking for exoneration dates

Mama's lullaby echoes

Don't Look Back.

They sold her young

The price too low for the foal

Just another girl

To be stuffed into the mattress

To be shoved into the wall

There is no better gauge

than by how we grow the little children

Joule

maybe we dream in the 4th dimension
I know too many who cannot dream
fireworks to celebrate soldiers
who can't stop hearing them
look at the birds scatter like shrapnel
I don't know what it is we are celebrating
it is not peace
I never thought you could be so pink
so yellow
I shouldn't have told him you'd be there
boys aren't as resilient as we need them to be
dress them in uniforms and put them out
on his right is disappointment
his left is surrender
I have not given him enough armor
I'll never know which is sadder
circumstance or his acceptance
there is no equation for sadness
in the 4th, on the 4th
silence would have erupted
a quantum plunge into possible
when we grow stronger than our weapons
when we don't need anyone to protect us

that's when we will meet again.

Buy Her Okra, If You Can

the rusted live bait sign
creaking in the breeze
a flag from a forgotten country
the lean of a woman
buy her okra, if you can
tomatoes peaches honeydew
she will laugh you a recipe
like thank you
Half smile grin
stroke's souvenir
a vacation she didn't plan
all alone now, (but for the wind-singing sign)
how she loves her dusty town
her landless garden
the whiskers on her chin will tickle
hug her, if you can
she will feel newborn weak
a foal for the breaking
but you'll know by her knuckles
she is holding on hard

coup de foudre

we laid pennies on tracks with our fat kid fingers
isaacs for our abraham; my heart was always something like this


watermelon juice foamed on his chin, his eyes wild and rabid
this is why today I still do not care for the taste


when night holds me, covers me, invades me
I am always ripely spread and bee-tickles frightened


my heart was always something like this

Répétez

Oui, je veux apprendre
répétez après moi
oui, je veux apprendre avec tu
the slide of your neck
it is a sound we once heard from the stage
scène,
théâtre,
étape,  

no, nous ne répétant pas ce
est-ce quelque chose marat se mourrait pour?
se battrait pour
pourquoi piaf buvait seul
shirley, our sweetheart, ribboned and gifted
we worship our one dimensional celebrity
teach me piaf's vibrato
marat's bravado
dire à moi en français, léché d la langue sur les dents

tanka

this is how I melt
the boy's little hand in yours
a kiss after a night
not nearly ever enough
your happy sigh coming home


two trees by my house
lovers since the dawn of time
branches brush like hair
one whispers let me see you
the other giggles leaves