Ladies' Night

For the time I invited you to ladies' night
even though I knew you were transitioning
I assumed you were genderqueer
I thought you still considered yourself a lesbian-
I know I'm part of the reason you left
you know why I still never call


For the time you told me you just wanted to end the pain
I didn't know that meant
you couldn't be a woman anymore
I wasn't sure which parts you were leaving
I thought we were still the same
see, I figured you just want to be invited


I'm sorry I called it ladies' night
I promise it had more to do with the gender of the alcohol
than what was between any of our legs
or in any of our hearts
I'm glad you are happy there
I'm so glad you're not in this dark place anymore
I know I'm part of the reason you left
you know why I still never call


I promise it has more to do with an apology I can't say
than with one I think you are still waiting to hear.