To Create a Child

Perhaps there is no right or wrong
There only is

Though when it comes to the boy-

We both know he deserved better.
He was planned by three
And likely loved by three
But 6 months later,
my belly rising like the sun,

I stood alone.
Perhaps there is no right or wrong

We both know he deserved more from you

And I don't have enough forgiveness in me
For the both of us.
Besides, he and I have made do

I am his, he is mine
My plan to grow him
was a fish hook pulling my bellybutton open
And out climbed a cherub
Conceived by demons.

But I was reborn with him

I knelt and absolved and grew flowers from my fingertips

Roots from toenails
I sprouted and shriveled and sprouted again

Along with him.
Tonight he is twelve
Tonight I am sure there is purpose in life
That consciousness is meaning

He brought that gift with him
I have stepped onto a midnight beach
Staring at the sandy sky
& felt an alone too big for one
Eternity is there as well as here
It is a fish-hook pulling a bellybutton to open