Ayin

Ein sof.

Binah, binah, binah, binah.

Before the beginning-
there was a thought
... Of never ending
a stone in a pond
rippling
endlessly
I wasn't there to see
but atoms in my soul
are the dusty footprints
whispering 

it happened

The 70s

70s and I'm seeing my parents
deep in the mistakes that would eventually
define them
children of the night 

skin innocent and fragile
eyes lonely and together 

70s and I'm seeing my parents
deep in the love that would
Eventually
desert them
surrounded by the fear that only youth
never see
and the hope that only the sages
regret

Voyageur

atteindre le bord du voile
il est toujours le matin à l'arrivée
Oui aujourd'hui! yeux louchent
désespérée de prendre tout cela en
lourd avec merveilleuse; graisse sans attentes
il y a toujours les collines, les arbres
une rivière ou un lac insaisissable
accentués étapes pas destinés à être compris
seulement entendu, esquivé
un espace tranquille pour sentir la chute de jour de congé
there is never time to finish
night hurries in everywhere
a shift in the air unwelcome
No, this is not where I can stay.

To Create a Child

Perhaps there is no right or wrong
There only is

Though when it comes to the boy-

We both know he deserved better.
He was planned by three
And likely loved by three
But 6 months later,
my belly rising like the sun,

I stood alone.
Perhaps there is no right or wrong

We both know he deserved more from you

And I don't have enough forgiveness in me
For the both of us.
Besides, he and I have made do

I am his, he is mine
My plan to grow him
was a fish hook pulling my bellybutton open
And out climbed a cherub
Conceived by demons.

But I was reborn with him

I knelt and absolved and grew flowers from my fingertips

Roots from toenails
I sprouted and shriveled and sprouted again

Along with him.
Tonight he is twelve
Tonight I am sure there is purpose in life
That consciousness is meaning

He brought that gift with him
I have stepped onto a midnight beach
Staring at the sandy sky
& felt an alone too big for one
Eternity is there as well as here
It is a fish-hook pulling a bellybutton to open

They Are There

They are watching
They are waiting
Haven't you asked why aliens haven't stopped by yet?
Haven't you wondered if maybe they have?
Violence, slavery, war have been imagined
By us
The violent, the cruel, the murderers.
They do not come in peace
The lessons of the universe have already arrived
Evolve with love
Or die.
Compassion is allowing something to be as it is
To recognize it as evolving too.
They do not pick flowers to show love
Instead they say- I saw a meadow dotted with purple petals
Seeing it, felt like the happiness I feel
When I am with you.
They do not do the child's work for them
Instead they say- learn by doing and see
That, also
is love.

Childless Gran

good morning will whistle in Madill
from the rusted Live Bait sign
a creaking flag from a forgotten country
it will advertise
the lean of a woman
if you can, buy her okra
tomatoes onions honeydew
she will laugh you a recipe
like thank you
half-smile grin
stroke's souvenir from a sunless vacation
She's alone now, but for the wind-sighing sign
Still her eye-shine will sparkle with hope
for being here now
with love
for her dusty town
and her well-heeled garden
Hug her, if you can
the whiskers on her chin will tickle
and she will feel foal-knees weak-
a someday steed but for the breaking.
You'll know by her knuckles
how hard she's held on
If you can, buy her okra
tomatoes onions honeydew

hug her
and hold on, too.

Where Are We Now, The Hurry Has Gone

loose-knit body parts
scattered on the bed's battlefield
the shrapnel of our clothes
peering helter-skelter
over the edge


where are we now
the hurry has gone
two empty casings
floating just there
want surrendered to have
defeated by had