To the Real Child Whose Real Parents Named Him: Whiskey

I hope your siblings are named Rum and Tequila
and not Ruth and Timmy
I hope your Mom wasn't trying to name you
after your Dad
I hope the kids in your grade school

had no concept of Whiskey as a noun

I hope you're not related to the baby named Hashtag
I hope you both know you can change your name
I hope you do
I hope you don't

I hope you love your name 

I hope it isn't Bobert Baratheon Catastrophe

I hope it is

I hope you're the first of many

I hope I live long enough to meet

Whiskey Bobert Baratheon Catastrophe the fifth

I hope people never stop asking you if it's ey or y

and when they do, 

I hope you say it's neat with a beer back