No One Really Knows

I've never been one to read the last page first

though I have this question

which will remain unsolved until I let go of this life

and possibly even after.

I want to know the feeling of the entire cosmos

I want to peek at what is beyond this universe

I have tried imagining this,

though I know it is impossible

with my paltry mind

I feel intimately the pangs of more that I cannot grasp

I am filled with a lost and lonely hunger

I do not have an answer for the question of God

and someone told me that it is love

look at all the newborn things that are fresh from God

they are overflowing with something

that love is close to describing

I do not know love like that

My religious friends urge me to just have faith, like pushers

In my heart, I am a romantic scientist

fallen for the curious idea though still desperate for proof

This may prove to be a fatal flaw

as the only thing any of us know about God

is that no one really knows

it's obvious to me, there's only one way to find out

My friends with faith believe so fiercely, they claim

that certainty in belief feels just as real

I do not know faith like that

Some say you must live to know why you're alive

I am not convinced

I know I won't know certainty until I die

if there is even such a thing

if I am anything more than a worm meal

yet

when I pray,

it is for the patience to wait for the answer

while never to stop asking the question.