Witness Colors Bloom

between birth and death
my terse tight-roped dash was
only
ever
the shy line that followed your name
This has taken too long to say.
the first day I tried
all my pens ran dry
the scribble of making them work
was fine art
was a portrait
of having the breath
crushed out of me
we were vulgar
from the root: to ruin
the organic existence
you make me less
than someone who once lived.
as a parting gift
for your pain
you ransomed us
mutilated our history
made in times of peace
torpid moments we spent
unfolding each other
in the end
I curled at your feet
barricaded to the tidal tilt
a pitted barrier to love leaving
to you, it felt like abandon
the way silence shelters
surrounded by sound
to you, not fighting is synonymous
with not caring
no one should envy this naked love
picking at each other's scabbed wounds
kicking bruises to witness colors bloom


when I dream, it is of gravity
the ground rising to cave in my skull
collapsing my memory of you like exploded stars
a trophy to hang in the sky
of an absurd dedition
& I would fill the universe
with our dust-