to: Myself

whispering I wanted to be hers
she volleyed: I belong to myself
this is a pattern I cannot repeat
so, we laid in a field under a starless sky
the color between azure and ochre
our timid tongues reaching
the edge of our vocabulary
we made love like the world
was beginning and ending
all at once
all in the arch of her yesnow
what we did should've been illegal
actually,
it probably is


I never meant to cage her
stop her from pursuing herself
I only wanted to spin her
as she's spun me
kissed down into my throat
clichéd my heartbeat into wholly:
to the exclusion of all else
passionate errors I've made: forgiven
trust that I'd ever find her: healed
like we were beginning and ending
all at once
all in the beg of my yesnow
this pattern doesn't need to repeat
I do, it's true, belong to myself
it isn't too late to reverse this,
to manage my careful drummer home


actually,
it probably is