I had visions of your landing
falling down in a Jesus descent
you'd touch all the broken in me
& I'd be healed
in my visions your name was Katie,
your hair was dragon-breath licked,
I thought I knew your side smile
better than I know my own reflection
though,
I'd never seen it
You didn't come as Katie
as Jesus
You came in the backdoor,
kicked off mudboots,
made yourself at home.
I am not healed
You've touched every cabinet in me
and called it like it is,
claimed my broken as scripture
my lost as poetic
Tonight I called someone I tried so long to hate
I sucked out my venom
bandaged as best I could
and will sleep soundly
on that good-night to you.
love is not a word
it is an eviction notice for harm
it is a call to be more than good intentions
it is a promise so sacred
that we blaspheme every time we say it
I won't tell you about the call
about all the ways I'm changing
that I'm becoming more myself
when you are around
love is not a to-do list
cannot be checked off
it isn't calling you another's name,
thinking you'd look better ginger,
or comparing you to any one thing
I have known before
it is knowing each of your side smiles
as a miracle
it is feeling my broken as scripture
staring into my rambling starting point
and simply
doing right by you.
No comments:
Post a Comment