Terminal

before I knew I was even awake yet

I knew she was next to me

close
does not begin to explain

she was the last light of the sun sink
an ember of hope at dusk
she sewed the sadness in me

she was the first taste of honey
between taste bud and tooth 

she grew the sweet places in me.

there's a reason
why they call it a terminal

I would trade every memory I have
of falling stars

of sunrise
of delicious
only to smell her once again

I would give the rest of my days

for just another with her.

it is unfair

that this world has continued without her

that everyone everywhere
is not crying all the time.

it is unfair that I cannot move on
I am as lost under as I hope she isn't

guilt surrounds me

like gravity.

She left so much undone
I'd leave in a moment
to be with her
if I thought she'd want me there.
I don't write this to remember

I write because I can't forget

every breath I take is proof
that I am moving on

I'll allow her smile to be my smile

she flows through me and now in you

and so, in part,

she has not gone.